| Divorce Essay Good thesis writing Essay done for you

According to the majority of psychologists, the formation of an emotionally healthy child depends on the communication of a child with both parents. 90% of children with divorcing parents learn about their divorce and have a brief shock to the instinctive feeling of pain and fear. According to the U.S. researchers, 50% of fathers stop visiting their children three years after a divorce (Shah, 2004). About half of such children feel cast aside and abandoned. Being asked whether they felt more miserable, 37% of the children said it happened immediately after 5 years (Shah, 2004). Divorce is one of unpleasant realities of modern life. When two people meet, they fall in love, marry and give birth to a child, often saying that their life becomes complete. However, over time and under stress of the modern life, their relationship faces difficulties and people do not want to be together. As a result, divorce and partition of joint property take place and children play the role of observers, consequently, suffering through many drastic changes.

The Psychological Consequences of Divorce for Children

Undoubtedly, this is a terrible issue when parents think about the separation and divorce. The most drastic consequence is the fact that children experience the strongest emotions and often become traumatized. The psychological consequences of divorce for children have long been the object of the study of psychologists (Fabricius, 2003). Although there are many ways to help a child to get over their parents’ divorce, but it is impossible to eliminate the consequences of this event. When a family breaks up, then all its members suffer the consequences. Obviously, children suffer most of all. Just imagine, a mom and a dad are child’s little world. Suddenly, the whole world is falling apart. What should a child feel? Undoubtedly, he/she is in panic! This is a huge stress for a kid. Hence, going through this stress, all children behave in different ways. Someone becomes closed, some even start to blame themselves for what has happened. Some children show their feelings in the form of aggression. Teenagers swear not only with their stepmother (stepfather), but also with the parent who left a family. Younger children usually feel attached to both parents. Therefore, their anger is poured on the new spouse of a parent. It is not necessarily that he/she is doing it on purpose. A child is suffering and simply does not know how he/she can cope with this feeling. Of course, a new wife of his father (or mother’s new husband) is only another obstacle (Fabricius, 2003).

What is crucial, a child has the right to receive comprehensive care and education, and this responsibility lies on both parents. If they are divorced, a child remains with his/her mother as long as it is needed. The exception to this are those cases when a mother cannot raise a child – if she does not have common sense, if her health does not allow her to give a child a proper upbringing, if she has not reached adulthood and she needs a guardian, and if she has a bad temper. In these cases, a child is given to the education of a father or other close person. Material provision of a child, even after a divorce, on the education or other expenses is the father’s responsibility of a father. A mother in this case is entitled to additional compensation (alimony) in accordance with the |s of the country and the time in which she lives, because the fee is raising with a child as payment for breast-feeding and so on (Fabricius, 2003).

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The other important aspect is a situation when a child is sufficiently independent. Then, parents must work together to decide with whom it is better for a child to live. However, if they fail to agree on their own, the choice is given to a child. In fact, the final decision about who will live with a child falls on the shoulders of a judge as well. He is obliged to give preference to the side which will be able to take care of a child in the better way, taking into account the piety of their parents, their living conditions, health and other circumstances. However, it still should be remembered that the material support of a child in any case remains to be the responsibility of a father (Bruch, 2006).

In order to solve such a social problem, a lot of things should be counted. How does divorce affect children? Why is it a big social problem? Firstly, children are afraid that parents’ divorce will change their lives, that their mothers and their fathers will no longer love them as before. Children think of which parent they will stay with, where to live, whether to maintain relationships with friends, or whether they would have to change completely their social circle. Due to this uncertainty, a child experiences the feeling of loss of control over the situation since nothing depends on him/her (Bruch, 2006).

After the divorce, parents often spoil their relationship: they arrange every meeting with scandals and quarrels, not caring about a child. This tension between parents may negatively affect the child’s mental state. Sometimes children try to reconcile their parents, which, of course, are not possible to them, so children often feel guilty. They blame themselves for their parents’ divorce, believing that they behaved poorly, or put a little effort to reconcile a father and a mother. In addition, children begin to doubt themselves, they do not know who is worth to love more.. In some severe cases, a child can experience depression, and he/she goes to start behaving aggressively and provocatively to get attention.

The Psychological Aspect of Divorce

The effects of divorce on children can have a psychological aspect. Clearly, children react differently to divorce. Many children have increased levels of anxiety because they feel a sense of loneliness and loss since they think that their mother or father left them (Blair & Merle, 2005). Regardless of the relationship between parents, divorce somehow affects the emotional state of children.

Here are some psychological consequences of divorce for children:
children think that parents do not love them any more, they feel abandoned and unnecessary;
when children understand that their parents are no longer together, they feel a sense of helplessness and powerlessness;
even if children do not show anger and aggression, many of them suffer severe destructive emotions;
children often feel guilty for what happened, considering that their behavior led to parents parting;

In addition, children feel guilty for still loving both parents equally, although he or she stays with his mother or father (Blair & Merle, 2005).

The Behavioral Aspect of Divorce

Finally, effects of divorce on children show a behavioral aspect. A child’s behavior after a divorce can be observed with various changes related to stressful experiences and transferred psychological trauma, including sleep disturbances (insomnia), aggression (violence toward animals or other children), destructive addiction (alcohol and drug use), even suicide attempts. When parents divorce, regressive child’s behavior (psychological defense, reflected in a return to childish behaviors), when he/she cannot sleep without his/her beloved toys, cries when frightened, always in need of praise and approval is also possible. The signs of regressive behavior are bedwetting as well as the emergence of the nervous habits.

As it was above mentioned, a boy deprived of adequate communication with his father learns either “female” type of behavior or creates a distorted view of men’s behavior as antagonistic opposite to female and does not take anything that his mother tries to instill (Antokolskaia, 2003). Boys brought up without fathers are less mature and determined, they do not feel safe enough, hence, they appear to be less enterprising and balanced. They face more difficulties in developing the ability to empathize and control their behavior. It is much more difficult for them to carry out their paternal responsibilities. On the other hand, girls raised without fathers have less well formed idea of masculinity; hence, in the future they have fewer chances to understand their husbands and sons properly as well as to play the roles of a wife and a mother. Father’s love for his daughter is very important for the development of self-awareness, self-confidence and formation of an image of femininity. Therefore, parents are a crucial milestone in the life of a pure child psyche. What is more, all aspects discussed throughout the paper should be learned and understood by society members in order to prevent problems in a family, which is the basis of any human society. A young human is extremely vulnerable especially when two closest people decide to get divorced. In many countries all over the world children suffer the most severe social problem – divorce, though such a problem might have been prevented by considerable approach and understanding.