Managing Relationship sample essay
The relationship chosen for this assignment in one that involves my wife and I. Both of us have been married for over five years and we have been together for a total of seven years. I met my wife through my best friend as she was his front door neighbor and we have also seen each other but never spoke until one day I just stopped her in front of her house and asked her for her name and the rest well is history.
Our relationship began as a friendship as we would go out to nightclubs, watch movies, and just hang out in the front porch talking until literally the sun came up the following day it was something not to many get to do and I was lucky I would say. After my sophomore year of college, we were dating for over 6 months we found out that she was pregnant. I decided I had a good woman by my side and although we were young we were able to get married. The level of our relationship turned into a romantic one as we began as strangers, then friends, after boyfriend/ girlfriend and lastly wife and husband.
I have no regrets with any decisions I made in regards to why and with who I chose to be married to. Although there are factors that led to the attraction of my wife I will talk about one short term attraction. As it is defined in Chapter 9, it states that short term attraction is a degree to which you sense a potential for developing an interpersonal relationship ( Beebe and Beebe , Redmond Chapter 9 page 256). I have known my best friend since we were in diapers and after high school is when we noticed that she was living there.
She literally did not pay any attention to us in the beginning, to the point that we did not even know her name. I remember us in a group would scream out girl names to try and get her attention and obviously that did not work. We all thought she did not know how to have a good time but then after I met her I was completely wrong. After meeting her I was blown away and there was interest to get to know her better. I was blown away because we spoke until 5 AM that first day just getting to know each other and this is where the short term attraction took place.
After getting to know her I decided to try and seek a relationship with her and it just grew naturally. The long term attraction was starting to set in. Getting to know her more we shared same views on family, possibility of leaving the Miami area for a better future for our children we just clicked. We were able to have open conversations while not holding anything back this showed me that she wanted to invest in a long term relationship with me. With everything that I was able to learn about her and she learned from me, I was able to commit to allow the progress and handle it carefully because I placed value in this relationship.
Romances are made from feelings, emotions, and conducts. Strength in a romance may have several forms. I think it may be reliant on the level that the romance is in. Coercive strength is when a person utilizes either emotional or even actual strength to push their position on another. This is a method of the person having their way at the cost of the other side in the romance. When I was eighteen my dad insisted I go away for college, in spite of my objections and threatened not to pay my fees if I didn’t do as he insisted.
Reward authority is yet another instance of authority in a bond where people try to affect another side in the bond providing emotional or actual advantages for compliance. A good example of this would be a mother or father informing a kid that there particular jobs or chores were performed to the parent’s desires and the prize for the kid would be candies or a cycle. Our partnership has a powerful basis of respect and love for each other as powerful and effective persons. Other kinds of strength in partnerships are knowledge (capability or abilities, persuasion, dollars, pressure or coercion.
Strength in a partnership has extra dimensions for example complementary (strength is equally split with both submission and control), symmetrical (people behaving the identical either both seeking power and avoidance by both), competing symmetrical (both people desire authority and decision-making), submissive symmetrical (neither individual desires decision-making or influence) and parallel partnership (power change between the persons depending on the scenario). Authority also has to do with impact. Excellent strong and healthy partnerships are predicated on regard and pride, though there is a power differential between the parties.
I think there should be some good verdict and integrity utilized or substantial damage can and frequently will happen with a base of sympathy, regard and love. Our partnership has parallel power because we alternate based on what particular scenario may need. On her side she writes messages regarding our credit cards in case a mistake has happened. I am the one who addresses all of the automobile problems. When people have a partnership appeal is the feeling which informs somebody we desire to keep or make a partnership/relationship with another person.
Shifting from a period of being friends and seeking closeness (where I can be myself and have acclaim from the other side) appeal is required. The more communication while being involved in the growing stages of confidence has allowed us to self -disclosure and more appeal. With more appeal we get to closeness. Our feelings and actions are affected by getting this close level and are shown via spoken and non-verbal interaction tips which show how we think. Actual appeal is exactly that. There’s something attractive regarding how the individual appears.
I wanted a level of appeal in my wife. I desired somebody who was reliable, inspired and had knowledge. Strength in social partnerships is the capability to affect another in a particular manner or direction. Strength relates to decision-making, development or reduction of the partnership, restrain in the relationship- all of these are logical and significant however that should be discussed by both sides. Like with many married couples, there are situations when people must increase the partnership. Relational progress in a partnership happens in phases.
With pre-interaction consciousness there is search, strength and closeness; relational de-escalation there is stagnation, splitting up or post communication; our partnership can be defined as in the relational de-escalation stage. Like partners we aren’t capable to decide on the ideal way to satisfy our bad debts. The conflict is good since we are working on a much better method of money management which we can both agree with. Two relationship management skills that are needed to manage my relationship are using relationship talk and to manage conflicts cooperatively.
I mention relationship talk because everyone whether it is male or female in a relationship will love to hear the assertiveness from their partner as to how they feel. For instance, there are times that my wife and I just sit on the porch and we speak of our own relationship. We speak of how certain situations have made us wiser and how close we have become. Managing conflicts cooperatively is something that should be done. Instead of just being mad after conflict I try and give myself a five to ten minute break to gather myself and try and solve the problem with my wife. What we do is we alk about our conflicts and we try and communicate whether in a good or bad way.
It is not always good to hold words inside as this causes a snowball effect. The issue gets bigger until someone just blows up. Being husband and wife in a devoted life partnership which are also personal, there is a somewhat of a reliance for each other for verification or approval. A lot can be said with an appearance or a caress, along with actual closeness. In partnerships there is also the requirement for brief interaction. I can sometimes be superficial in being expressive whereas my wife can be somewhat of an emotional person.
Both of us need to comprehend that it’s okay to express feelings and not to discourage the other side from doing this. Letting out feelings may be therapeutic and a tension reducer, instead of keeping things inside. Being able to convey feelings is a romantic form of self-disclosure. With greater harmony in a partnership like a husband and wife we can work constructively conveying our feelings. My spouse states that I require working on active listening and offering me with positive verification. This is important to having a good effective partnership.
Switching off the TV, stopping, looking and actually listening shows real interest and active listening. Keeping a good intimacy in our partnership necessitates the establishment of sentimental and mental restrictions. The requirements evaluation must be that closeness partnership level is non-punitive, sincere and supporting. Use of the above mentioned abilities will decrease tension levels, decrease potential, improve interaction routes, encourage an increased closeness and enhance our knowledge of what every person requires in the romantic relationship.